Loosely Speaking
Join three best friends turned business owners for real talk on life, relationships, and leveling up. We dive into everything from entrepreneurship and personal growth to spirituality and wellbeing, sharing authentic stories, big laughs, and practical insights along the way.
Whether you're navigating your career, building meaningful relationships, or simply figuring out adulting, we're here with the conversations and encouragement you need. Nothing is off-limits.
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Loosely Speaking
Elly’s Endometriosis Journey and Egg Freezing for Future Motherhood
This one's a biggie. Elly Nicole joins us to tell the unfiltered story of living with endometriosis, pushing for a diagnosis, and making the bold choice to freeze her eggs—solo—after an AMH test suggested a low ovarian reserve in her early twenties. From the first laparoscopy to the late-night injections, internal scans, and the uncertainty of a nonresponsive ovary, she takes us through the exact steps, feelings, and trade-offs behind fertility preservation when you don’t have a partner and you don’t have easy answers.
We talk about the moment that changed everything: a psychics message to check AMH that led to a life reroute, a move home, and a crash course in IVF protocols. Elly explains how egg retrieval works, what doctors look for, why expectations matter, and the shock of waking up to 18 collected and a call confirming 15 eggs frozen. Beyond the numbers, we get honest about the mental load of chronic pain, the strain on friendships, the role of a supportive boss, and what it takes to communicate needs in a new relationship when your baseline pain is a four and some days spike higher.
If you’ve wondered how to advocate for yourself through endometriosis, fertility testing, or egg freezing, this conversation offers real-world tools: switching specialists when the vibe is wrong, using a TENS machine for drug-free pain relief, drawing on baths and breath work, and building language for support that actually helps. It’s raw, practical, and deeply human—a reminder that trusting your body and asking the hard questions can change the path ahead.
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Follow @ellynicole_ to stay connected with Elly's evolving journey.
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In this episode, we'll be discussing endometriosis, fertility, and egg freezing. We know these topics can be sensitive or triggering for some listeners, so please take care of yourself. It's absolutely okay to give this one a miss if you need to. We'll be back with different conversations soon. Welcome to Loosely Speaking, the podcast where three best friends turn business owners come together to chat about all things life, relationships, and levelling up.
SPEAKER_04:Each episode we share our perspectives on what it's like being women in business, balancing everything from work and relationships to society and self-care. And from time to time we welcome the best in the beers to share their insights with us.
SPEAKER_07:Think of us as your go-to girls for real talk, big laughs, and a sprinkle of spiritual vibes. So do whatever makes you feel good while you tune in. Let's get the conversation flowing. Welcome back to Loosely Speaking. We have a very special guest here today, this evening. Actually, we've mixed it up a little bit this evening where they are at nighttime with a glass of red. Mmm. Yeah. Check is beautiful.
SPEAKER_05:We've got the Merlo Symbidium orchids here too, and the mini orchids, so it's very on theme at the moment. Top flavors.
SPEAKER_02:It's the lowlights.
SPEAKER_07:And we've got my cousin here actually today, um, Ellie. Welcome, Ellie. Thanks for having me. Yeah. Actually, your nails.
unknown:Oh.
SPEAKER_07:Hey, what are you ready? Okay, so Ellie just reached out, and for the first time I've been with her for like half an hour tonight, and I've noticed that she has Merlin. That is literally wow.
SPEAKER_02:We need a picky. Sorry, there's literally purple. We need a hand in the pick.
SPEAKER_01:This is meant to be it's anyways.
SPEAKER_07:Um, yeah, so really excited to have Ellie on tonight, very close to my heart. Um, literally grown up with Panonas in purple since Ellie's.
unknown:Not mine.
SPEAKER_07:Um, but we're speaking here today about Ellie's fertility journey as a single girly. Do you want to do that again? I might do that again. Sorry, that's okay. And we're here tonight, this evening, going to be speaking about Ellie's fertility journey as a single girly. And yeah, so this may not be an episode for everyone, um, but I think it will kind of hold close to a lot of people's hearts. And it's also a really good piece that, you know, there's so much, even I'm, you know, close to Ellie, but I there's so much I probably don't even know about your journey. So I'm really excited to kind of dig deep with Ellie and um yeah, pass the floor over to you. Thanks. So hi. I'm Ellie.
SPEAKER_00:Um so I just kind of wanted to start off by saying, like, for anyone listening, I'm not a medical professional, so don't take everything fully literal. You need to do your own research, you need to um kind of figure out your own journey, but by telling my story, I hope that I can help others. Um and from my own perspective, as a single at the time, I was a single girl doing that, which is crazy and very different and not the normal way of doing it. But I just wanted to like put that out there first because I don't want anyone, I'm not trying to be a medical professional.
SPEAKER_07:No, this is your story, and I think you're just trying to, it's quite unique that you went through this when you were in your very early 20s. Yeah. And um, which, you know, a lot of people are experiencing this in their early 30s when they're actually trying to conceive, but your story started very differently. Um, so yeah, I think it's a it's a great story to tell, and it's your story.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, I think it's amazing. I'm inspired by your dedication to, you know, doing what you've done. It's awesome. Thank you.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I just want to thank you so much on behalf of all three of us as well for coming on and sharing your story with us and with our community today, too.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you. Thanks for holding the space. I feel really like at home with you girls and like excited for what's gonna come out in the herbs. Let's see.
SPEAKER_07:So we would love for you to kind of take us back to where you were when you started experiencing something wasn't right. Um, I know through obviously our relationship that you've always had a little bit of a harder period, even from a really young age. So wherever you're happy to start off, um, if you could like take us back to yeah, when you kind of knew something wasn't right, what that looked like for you.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So for me, um, my periods were always really heavy, really painful. Um, I think when you're young, you don't know any different. You just think that that's normal. And um something that I experienced was extreme, extreme pain. So my poor mum would pick me up three or four times a week or a few times out of the month because I was just in severe, severe pain. And that happened for two or three years before she, thankfully, was like, something is wrong, like we have to sort this out. Um, so from there I went to a few GPs and different doctors, and because periods aren't really that talked about, you you are considered to have a normal period if it's painful or heavy. No one really took it very seriously for me. So, and I think that's the experience for a lot of people. Um, so I had all sorts of different tests for IBS, all these things that it wasn't it, tried lots of different pills, things like that. Um, until eventually my mum was like, that's it, we're gonna find you the best of the best gynecologists because this is becoming a joke.
SPEAKER_09:Go, Mum.
SPEAKER_00:Go, Mum, like biggest advocate. Honestly, I couldn't have done this whole thing without her. Like, she is the reason I'm being diagnosed. Um, so love each other. Um, actually, the statistic, and I don't know if it's changed, but from when I got diagnosed, the statistic was that it took 10 years for for a woman to get diagnosed with endemic triosis from when she got her first period.
SPEAKER_09:Wow.
SPEAKER_00:So that is how hard it is in the medical world to actually get diagnosed with this and actually get pinpointed on what you've got, which for me was endemic triosis and polycystic ovaries. Um so I had to go to I went to lots of different doctors, but I eventually the last person I went to was a lovely doctor in Sydney. He actually um did IBF with my auntie, so my two little nieces, um nieces, what? My other two cousins are from him, made from him, which was kind of cool. Um, and I saw him and he recommended having surgery, which is a laparoscop. I can never say the word laparoscopy and lapos. Anyway.
SPEAKER_02:Google it.
SPEAKER_01:It's the surgery you have to find out your endometriosis.
SPEAKER_00:It's a keyhole surgery, and they go in and they they see what you've got and and remove what you've got if you've got anything. But you have to have that surgery to be diagnosed with endometriosis. Um, and that's yeah, it's actually quite a full-on like the surgery itself is keyhole, but the recovery is quite full on because they're going through your whole entire body.
SPEAKER_04:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um, I've got five scars from that. Oh wow. And the recovery was quite full on, and they took endometriosis out of my body, which is such an interesting, um, it was such an interesting experience. When I got diagnosed, I woke up in the hospital and the gynecologist said to me, Oh, I'm so sorry, like you've been diagnosed with endometriosis. And I just burst into tears like that, thank you. Thank you for telling me I'm not crazy. And it's from sharing my story, I've heard other women say it's just this sense of relief of like, oh my god, I've been gaslit by so many people that this is just normal. That finally I've actually been told, no, there's something wrong, and we're gonna try to help you. So, yeah, that's kind of how my journey started. Um, I was 16 or 17 when I had the surgery. Um, and then yeah, we've just kind of managed it from there, which led to freeze and eggs.
SPEAKER_03:How relief was definitely the word I can imagine because just that search for answers would be so antagonizingly painful and exhausting.
SPEAKER_09:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:And I'm just so thankful to your mum for being so attuned and um have so much respect for you and and really paying attention to what it was that you were going through, and for her to just actively seek out further education and awareness for what's going on for you, because it shouldn't be something that we just accept as normal. No. And I love that she was onto that for you because I don't remember getting taught anything about this in PDHP in in high school. And is 16 a common age to be going through a surgery like this? When are most women diagnosed? Do you know?
SPEAKER_00:No, I don't know, but I think because it's that 10 the statistic is it takes 10 years, I think it would be in their mid-20s. I I know people that didn't get diagnosed until they started to try to have babies and were like, oh, this is not novel. This is not how I should be feeling every period. Um, it was just that I had my mum who was just advocating for me and advocating for me and pulling me out of doctors. She would rip someone to shreds and be like, No, how dare you? Like I got told at 14, 15, oh, we don't think you're gonna be have be able to have children. Like, that is not something you can say to someone that's in puberty, trying to figure out their life in high school. And and it was affecting my school life. It really, really affected my teenage years of my hormones were crazy. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I was getting this in intense pain that, like, yeah, if I didn't have her, I probably would be one of the statistics that didn't get diagnosed for 10 years. Because I was just like, gave up. I was just like, I don't I'm obviously crazy. Like, this is all in my head.
SPEAKER_07:So it's crazy that that was it'd be hard because people would be like, oh, don't worry, it's just a period. That's what happened. Like, more so like friends and you know, people's like older people would just be like, Oh, it's just a period, but you're like, I am in excruciating pain. Yeah, exactly. Every time, and I remember like even when you would like you couldn't go to school, and yeah, but a lot of people I can imagine would just dismiss it a little bit and they're like, Oh, that's just a period.
SPEAKER_00:Everyone's in pain, you'll be fine. Yeah, like which was just such a yeah, as as you said, it was a relief for when they finally said, This is what is wrong. Because I was like, Oh my god, it's not made up, thank you. Like, what the hell? I don't think he expected that yeah, and like response from me, but I was just like, Oh wow, I'm not crazy, this is so nice. And then it's dealing with the management of it.
SPEAKER_09:Yeah.
SPEAKER_03:So that's when you thought about freezing your eggs. How did that conversation come about? And now that you had the answers that you were looking for, what did those next steps look like for you at that time and that age?
SPEAKER_00:So from when I had my surgery, um, the pain subsided for me quite a lot over the next three, four years. And then eventually, what happens is the endometriosis grows back, or the scar tissue that was burnt off can cause pain again. So um, over a few years it was starting to get worse and worse the pain again. Um at this time I was living in Queensland, and I'm gonna go on a woo-woo tangent here, um, because I am a little bit woo and the actual so egg freezing was never spoken about to me. It was just kind of managing. We kind of had the surgery, and then it was just like, okay, you're done now. That's it. And um I went to lots of different doctors again, still trying to be like, how do I manage this? Is there pain medication? What can I do? And I never really got answers. Um, when I moved to Queensland, my pain was getting worse. Um, at the time I had one my first marina, which is uh contraception. Um, and I got that changed, thinking maybe that was why I was in pain, still wasn't helping with the pain. And on my Ruby tangent, I went and randomly went and saw a psychic. Is this the psychic? This is the psychic. The psychic.
SPEAKER_08:We've all seen this psychic.
SPEAKER_09:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_08:Sorry, she is.
SPEAKER_00:Shout out to Felicity. She's love, doing she. Some serious work of work. She knows shit. Like she knows shit. So, first time I saw Felicity, my friend, like I was just working, whatever. My friend was like, oh my god, you should see the psychic. Had no thought about my fertility journey at all. I just thought, I'm in pain, I don't know. I want to go see the psychic for, you know, your usual thing. Your love, what am I gonna do? Like, my fertility was not on the list. Like, what? I'm fertility. But like, tell me when I'm gonna make my boyfriend.
SPEAKER_08:Like, when is Mr. Right? That was my intention. I'm not even gonna lie.
SPEAKER_00:So I actually went to her and I sat down in her chair and she said to me, Oh, wow, I've got such pain in my uterus. Oh my god. And I instantly that's crazy. Sorry. And she was like, Oh babe, like you are not well. And I just was like, just so shocked because this is not my intention as I said.
SPEAKER_02:So when's the boyfriend? Like, I'm not in pain.
SPEAKER_01:I'm not I'm in pain, I get it.
SPEAKER_00:And she actually said to me, babe, and you guys know how to take it.
SPEAKER_02:Babe, uh babe. What are you fucking doing? And I was like, uh huh.
SPEAKER_00:And you're what are you doing? And she's like, you need to go get your fertility tested, your AMH levels, it's a blood test, you need to get it done. And I was just like rocked. Like I just sat in this chair speechless.
SPEAKER_06:I've had goosebumps like holy moly.
SPEAKER_00:Speechless. And like two weeks before I I changed my mariner, and that was a really, really awful experience. And yeah, I was just like, the fuck? Okay, charm. So literally the next week I booked, I went to my GP and I was like, my psychic child basically told me, and she's like, wait a second, who's Felicity? I'm like, that doesn't matter.
SPEAKER_01:And I need to get my Aimage levels tested.
SPEAKER_00:Why has no one said this to me before? And she was like, Well, that's not something we normally recommend to people. And I was like, Well, you best be doing it. Whoa, we're doing it. It was$80 out of pocket, and she was like, Oh, but it's really expensive. I was like, I don't, I do not care. I do not care. And I got it tested and it came back really, really low. Now, at the time I was living in Queensland, uh, I was I didn't have family around, like all my family's on the coast. That hit me like a ton of bricks.
SPEAKER_06:How old were you as well?
SPEAKER_00:I was 22 or three at this time. And you know, I did my test, but I just never thought about it. I just went, oh well, I'm just gonna get this test. Like, I have to do my own research and everything these days, like, I'll just do it. And when I sat down and she said, Oh, you've got the like egg count, which an AMH level is to test your egg count of a 40-year-old. I just sat there and that colour drained out of me, and I just went, Oh my gosh. Oh, okay. I'm living in a state with no family around. I've like have got my two best friends there, but at 22, 23, no one's having these conversations. You don't, no one's talking about these things. I'm like, holy shit, like what does that mean? And she said to me, Look, like I would consider like doing egg freezing, like really soon. And I was just like, oh, okay, like this is gonna change the whole trajectory of my life. Like, I was not planning to move home, I was not planning to do this. This is crazy, what the hell? So instantly straight out of the front to Tani, I'm like, oh my god, like what the hell? She's just like, oh shit, okay. And then I've had to sit there and have the conversation with myself of okay, I think I need to move home to do this because I am a single girl at the time, and I've gotta now figure out the new steps to do this, which was just insane. It was such a crazy moment of my life just sitting in that doctor's office. Like, I can remember it so clearly, just being like, oh, well, that is crazy. But thanks, Felicity. Good job, Felicity. She's doing some serious universal work because like I probably wouldn't have got it tested. And like, I can't remember if it was the GP or the gyno that said to me, you probably won't have any like actual eggs by the time you're like in your 30s. So like imagine finding that out then. So like I'm so lucky. I'm so lucky that I found out when I did. Yeah. Um, so then yeah, then I moved home and the next step was figuring it all out.
SPEAKER_03:So this might be a silly question, but I'm presuming that the older we get, the less and less eggs we have, and the more periods we have, maybe it's just part of the process. Is that right?
SPEAKER_00:So So yes, don't quote me on the medical sense, but from my understanding of what I've been explained, is women are born with our septic count, and every period you lose one or two or three or however many your body loses.
SPEAKER_06:You lose some. So every period it's essentially closer to more and more.
SPEAKER_00:And then when you've got none left, you go onto menopause. So that's what menopause is. You've got no eggs left.
SPEAKER_06:How did I not know that?
SPEAKER_00:Well, that's from my understanding of it anyway. But again, you get told so much different information, so it is really hard to understand it all.
SPEAKER_06:I didn't know that. But I'm pretty Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, because that menopause, like you don't get your period anymore, and then you know, yeah, eggs are go into menopause at different times.
SPEAKER_07:Like it happens in like a 20s or 50s. Yeah, but then some people go really early, and then some people go into people's logistically.
SPEAKER_00:I probably will go into an earlier menopause. I don't know where that looks like yet because they don't know, I don't actually get a physical period.
SPEAKER_07:So And has that again like has that helped not getting a period?
SPEAKER_00:Is that does that help preserve that helps with my pain and um the endometrios are spreading within my body? But I'm not they don't they're not actually sure on how that works with if I'm still losing eggs, if I just was like there's not a lot of research around endometrios, so they don't really know why this is happening. Um so I don't know I could have no eggs tomorrow.
SPEAKER_03:Like it's just and so like you said, not that many people are having these kinds of uh conversations at the age of 22, 23. So when you were faced with this almost um like you may not have a choice whether you do or don't have kids, did you always see kids being in your future? Are you naturally like quite a maternal woman? Or it was that moment there that made you start considering, like, no, freezing my eggs is actually what I want to do.
SPEAKER_00:Absolutely. I have always had this instinct and like in my stomach that that is my purpose is to be a mum. So that's why I think that came such a shock to me. I wanted to be a mum so young and and have a young family, and unfortunately that hasn't worked out for me, that's fine. But like I love kids, I surround myself with kids, I'm good with kids, I've always been told I've been good with kids. So that's always been something that I see in my future. And I guess, in a way, having endometriosis, I've always had that thought of like far out, it's gonna be hard, and I might have problems or it might be a difficult pregnancy. But this was like a new level of like realization of like, whoa, like this could really be hard for me. Like, and also one you have that thought of how how do I tell people this? How do I explain this to my friends? How do I navigate this in my family? And then the biggest thing for me was how do I navigate this in a relationship in the future? Because that is a really hard conversation, and and it is unfortunately for me, I didn't get the choice. I don't get the choice of if it's gonna be easy or hard, but someone else does, and that's every right for them to be like, Look, this isn't for me, and that is not on them, that's just their journey, and and I have to respect that. So having that conversation with someone was something that I was instantly like, oh my god, how's someone gonna love me? Like, if I can't promise them these things and and that I'm constantly in pain, and all these things are like quite difficult and very expensive. So I think that was a really scary thought as well to have at such a young age, because like I was single and and I'm like, shit, how am I gonna navigate this? Like, that's just not something you think about at that age, right? But I've always known that I I will have kids and and I really, really want to have kids.
SPEAKER_06:So you're gonna be the best money.
SPEAKER_00:I'm gonna trust in that. Yeah. Like I have my freak out moments, but I'm like, I've got to trust in my body that it'll be fun. Yeah, that's like that.
SPEAKER_07:So you've taken I remember even once you got this, like that you found this out. We had a phone call when you were up in Queensland, and you we were obviously just talking about it, and I was like, you are doing it's almost like an insurance policy of what you're doing, because you were like, how do I navigate this with a partner? And explaining that I've gone through, and I was like, You are you're doing everything to ensure that for yourself, and you're taking all the right steps, and that's that's brave in itself to be going through that at that age and yeah, expensive, and you know, you're having the time of your life up there, and then having to leave that to to do this. I was like, anyone, and we'll get to this later, and you've found that person now, but anyone would look at that and admire that in you because that's such a courageous thing to do, to be like, this is my future. I'm taking it in my own hands, it's gonna be really fucking hard, which we'll go into soon. Yeah, like it's incredible.
SPEAKER_06:I'm blown away. I think your story is just yeah, it's definitely gonna inspire other people. Yeah, it's something that needs to be talked about, and your story, yeah. I've yeah, just want to sh I'm glad we're sharing.
SPEAKER_00:It's amazing. Me too. I think it is really important to share. Although, like, it is it is a really hard conversation, and I think a lot of people don't want to hear it because it's it's confronting, and I get that, but I do think it's so important to talk about.
SPEAKER_06:And it's on the rise, like as time's going on, um, statistically, like each generation, like it, yeah, it's something that needs to be talked about. I'm just like so proud of you. Like, I look I met you when you were 18 and we were just crazy and just you met me at a time, my god. Oh my god. Oh, you're the most shining star. I fucking love it.
SPEAKER_08:It was the time for all of us who were playing like drunk cricket in the kitchen, and then he had a peanut bathtub. That's that's so next to the beautiful acreage.
SPEAKER_07:Aaron Ellie's dad, my uncle, has this like is it like a concrete stone? It's beautiful. And we're all drunk, it's Australia Day. We're you know, I'm going for a bright park. Yeah, Ellie's dad's birthday. And we're like in the UK, I was like, who is this girl?
SPEAKER_08:And then I just got back from overseas, on the middle wing on Australia Day, you know.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, then like four years later. But yeah, I jumped into this bathtub and no, you fell on it.
SPEAKER_08:I had this like full lump in my back. We stuck frozen peas down my pears, and then we started playing cricket with a chopping board in the kitchen. With like limes.
SPEAKER_01:Oh, what a time to be alive. Yeah, what a time to be alive.
SPEAKER_06:Um, yeah, it was a huge time for us all. Yeah, we were young, and but just yeah, yeah. Just saying, like, since I met you, I think you're just the most incredible woman. Thank you.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah. Hmm. So I guess from here it's so you then you you came home, you moved back into so Ellie's parents have like a what'd you call it, like a granny flat out the back. So she had her own space in there, but had to leave. Like I said, she was having the time of her life up there with all of her girlfriends. She's 22, living her life, and then comes home to start this process of freezing your eggs.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So for me, like the moving home was really difficult. Like, I wasn't ready to do that. Yeah. I was like just finding myself, and and I was, you know, young and trying to live my life, and we couldn't go to seas, so I actually moved over to Queensland in COVID, had to quarantine. It was just wild. But you know, when you're 21 and you can do what you want, you'll do it. Can I quickly jump in and ask why you chose to go there? To Queensland? Yeah. Because that was the only place I could go, because all the borders were closed. Uh I actually was planning to move to London. Um, and I had a place in London almost lined up, and we went to lockdown. So then my life changed, and I was like, well, imagine if you were in London when you found this information. It would have been even harder. So different. So different. Um, and Queensland was the next best thing because that was the only place I could go.
SPEAKER_01:And I was in full lockdown. I had to like apply to go there.
SPEAKER_00:They had to accept my application. We had to quarantine for two weeks in a my best mate's house that we'd never seen before on near the army base. It was just wild. But we were just like, we're doing it. Let's go. And it was so much fun.
SPEAKER_07:Like, we had to do it. It did such a vibe up there. I loved it. I I wish I did that at some like it's just it's a vibe up there. There's so much to do, like, there's so many cool climbs. And we spent a lot of time up there as kids. Like, so it was almost like a second home.
SPEAKER_00:Oh, yeah. And I worked across the road from where we had an apartment when we were growing up. So like it was just crazy. Yeah. But and and I definitely had that thought of can I do this in Queensland? Can I do this egg freezing in Queensland by myself? Mum's like, I can fly up every now and then, but like I'm not gonna be there fully for you. And and I'm living in a house with two girls.
SPEAKER_07:Your rent was really.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, like it's a lot to put everyone else through as well. That was my thoughts. Like, I don't know if I can put my best mates through this because I'm getting a shit show. That's not fair on them. Um, so I did make the decision to come home, and I am grateful for that decision. I think it was the right decision, although I at the time this like salty as it was the right decision to make for everyone. Because I think like it is a really challenging thing as a friend to go through as well. And I've had conversations with my best friends that were like, we didn't know what to do, like we didn't understand it, we didn't know if you wanted us there, we didn't know if you did wanted space, like, and I will admit that I was a bit like oh, they didn't care, and then everything that you're about to put through your body, so that in itself was a little bit challenging. Um I don't know where I'm going with this story though.
SPEAKER_06:That's something lost.
SPEAKER_00:I need a question, I think. Sorry, I've lost my train of thought.
SPEAKER_06:When you move back home, for example, like you would have moved back home and then what was the first stages, like obviously settling in. Did your mum take you to your first appointment? Or and like did she kind of know did you know what that kind of the plan looked like for you? Or how how yeah, how do you even navigate that? Like, where do you go?
SPEAKER_07:And like, yeah, I don't even like yeah, I guess what were like the what were the first steps? So you've come home, you've settled at home. What were like the first steps of the egg freezing journey? Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um, for me, again, thank you, mum. She did a lot of the research because I was just like, I can't, like I just can't. Like it's just overwhelming. So overwhelming. I don't know what's right, what's wrong.
unknown:Um
SPEAKER_00:Um, so Mum did some research, and the original gynecologist who did my first ever procedure and diagnosed with endometriosis, he works alongside this doctor who was a fertility specialist. So we went down there, we saw him, and he was just kind of like, all right, well, let's do it. Like it was a very it all happened very quickly. Um, so I think like we had an appointment with him, and then maybe like a month later we started the process. Um it is tricky when you're single because you're not getting the reward at the end of doing your treatment. So usually people will go in there as couples, take do the egg freezing, get embryos, have that put in, and then get the baby at the end. So there's like a little bit of a reward at the end.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah, true.
SPEAKER_00:I unfortunately was doing it preventive preventatively, so I'm not getting that reward at the end, and I also don't have that support of a partner. Um, so that is a little bit tricky and a little bit different, and that is why I explained my whole journey online. Um but yeah, it all happened really quickly. So the doctor kind of just talks you through it, and it's hard because um they do this every day. They see this kind of stuff every day. Densensitized. Yeah, they're desensitized to it, and I don't want to like crap or bad mouth on anyone, but I found that really, really difficult and really confronting in the sense of it was just kind of like, right, we're gonna give you these needles, you're gonna inject yourself, you're just gonna go at this, and then and then we're just gonna do it. And then we walked out, and I was like, shit, mum, did you take any of that in? Like, because fuck, I I I don't know what I'm doing. And she was like, Oh, yeah, yeah, we can make it work. And obviously, she's trying to be brave for me, but you don't get a lot of information. It's just kind of like, here's how you stab yourself and and full on and and bing, bong, bing. No tenderness whatsoever. No, and I found that really hard. I'm a very emotional person.
SPEAKER_06:We're like, we're emotive beings, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And this is the first time I'm doing it. I've never stuck a needle in myself before. I'm about to put all these needles through my body, and I'm so stubborn that I'm like, I need to do it myself. Like, I'm mum's like, I can do it for you, and I'm like, no, I'm doing it myself, like I've got to do it. But it was so scary. And I remember the first needle ever was just like the scariest thing. And I was just like, oh my god. It's in your belly, isn't it? In my belly, it was their massive needles, and I just was like, oh my goodness, like, yeah, what am I doing?
SPEAKER_03:What do you think it was that you needed to do it yourself?
SPEAKER_00:But one, it's probably a bit of a control thing. Yeah, but two, I think I wanted to be proud of myself at the end and be like, I did this. Yeah. Um, so like, and my mom could have definitely done it. She's like literally starting to be a nurse. Like, she definitely could have done it better than me. But for some reason, I was just so adamant on being like, no, I am doing this. This is my journey. If I need to do this myself, yeah. It was like power. It was like holding the control, I think. I think it was the only thing I could control in this environment. And I was like, that's what I'm taking grasp of because I couldn't control anything else. I couldn't control the doctors and how they were a little bit desensitized. I couldn't control, I had to go to Sydney every second day um and get an ultrasound, an internal ultrasound, blood works, new medication.
SPEAKER_09:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:And 100% I did find it was really difficult because it was just kind of like, I don't know what's going on. No one's telling me what's going on. They're just like, yeah, we'll see you on two days. Here's some more stuff. It wasn't, I didn't get a lot of compassion or empathy because these people do do it every day, and it's not their fault. But when you're doing it by yourself, you've got no one really to support you in that space, and you don't know what's going on, and you're so young, it's so scary. Like it is so scary, and that's the whole reason I started documenting my experience online because the first thing I did when I found out that I was gonna do this was jump online and be like, girls freezing their eggs, blah blah blah blah blah, trying to look for someone else to like relate to, to relate to and get advice off and information of because I wasn't getting this information from the medical professionals. Um, and when I was doing all that research, I found it was a lot of couples and stuff, so it wasn't a lot of people doing it by themselves, and I found that really challenging. So I did it myself, which is exciting.
SPEAKER_03:When you talk about sharing your story online, I'm just sensing like so much powerful energy behind that. I feel like that's a pivotal point for you for some reason. Like can you talk more about your pull towards sharing and what that experience has been like for you and how that's helped?
SPEAKER_00:I it's funny because I was saying to mom today, it's I sometimes watch my videos back and I'm like, fuck. I'm so proud of that. I think it's something that I'm so proud that I was so honest and so raw. I was bawling my eyes out on there. I was being an absolute mess. But I'm really proud of that version of myself because I'm like, although like I I didn't, it doesn't have many people viewing it, but I'm like, if someone was to search up um egg freezing or single girl egg freezing or something like that, I can be that person for someone. And that was sort of what I needed. I needed it so badly, and that's what I looked for so hard in these in these moments. And I am really proud of sharing my journey and sharing it so just like sitting on the couch, a mess, being like, fuck me, I want a wine, but I can't have a wine. Like this sucks. Like so, I think like that is something that I hold high respect for myself for doing because I think like it really just I don't know why, but it just sat with me that I was like, I am filming this and I'm putting it online, and that's it was like scary. Like people from school, people from like who knows where could view this stuff. It's like open to the public. It is a little bit confronting and scary to post that raw stuff about myself, but still to this day, I'm like so proud of that version of myself that was just like I'm doing it for someone else. So I think that's why that sits so like well with me. And I enjoyed it, it was kind of fun.
SPEAKER_01:I know low key and so dramatic, like main dog.
SPEAKER_00:But it was also like a little video diary, yeah. And even still, like I'm still going through this whole journey. I've got another specialist appointment tomorrow. Wow. But when I'm having these meltdowns of like, fuck, this just sucks. Life is so hard. I look back at them and I'm like, if that girl can do it, this girl can do it. Like, look at how far you've come. Like, you're fine. It's fine. Yeah, but it is a never-ending cycle.
SPEAKER_06:Yeah. What do you mean by never-ending? Do you just feel like it's still well? Yeah, it would be it it's the beginning, I guess, because you haven't like all early days and it would feel actually never-ending.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, um, endometriosis isn't curable, so it's about management. Um, so I've had in the last month and a half, like four or five different doctors' appointments. Um, one was with a new specialist who I did not get along with, we did not vibe. I had a really awful experience. So we ditched them and we've gone to someone else, and this new um person is amazing. And I've just got all these new scans that are like new high-tech scans and stuff like that, which is really exciting. Um, but it is never-ending on how to manage it and deal with it if I need to have another surgery or I will eventually probably have to freeze my eggs again. Um, it's not just like a one-time thing. Um, partially a one-time thing, and then they so the way it works, which I probably could have explained a little bit better, is for me, um, because my egg count was so low, they thought that I was gonna get a really small amount of eggs collected. So essentially, with all the needles and stuff, they're trying to bring on these follicles to be able to come down so they can grab them.
SPEAKER_07:Because it for if I'm being correct, the injections like it pumps hormones into your body to get you like the most best chance of getting as many eggs as possible. Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. So originally they said to me, You're gonna maybe get three, four, five. A normal person, so say um someone who was like donating eggs or was doing it because they hadn't had a partner in their they're in their 30s or something like that, just without any health problems. Yeah, they would get about, I think it's like 30 to 40 eggs out of one retrieval. Wow. So they said to me, you're only gonna get maybe three, four, five, like expect the worst kind of thing. And they said you're gonna have to do this process a lot, like four or five times, depending on. I think they want you to have around 20 to 30 eggs like stored.
SPEAKER_09:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:For like the best chance of being able to have a child because you can't guarantee that like you and your partner are gonna blend or it's gonna sit down.
SPEAKER_06:20 to 30 number is the range that they aim for, so that you get the outcome you're wanting.
SPEAKER_00:Exactly, correct. Yeah. So I went in with really low hopes because they were like, Look, we don't think that this is gonna be great. My left ovary, we found out like two days before my surgery was not working. So I only had one ovary working. Um, and then they call you and they're like, right, you're going to surgery tomorrow, you need to take this needle at midnight, and then you go into surgery the next day.
SPEAKER_07:So they kind of like you don't have from the start a set date, it's more they gauge you throughout the process. Yeah. Like, okay, now you're ready.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. It's like you're not ready two more days, you're not ready, you're not ready, you're not ready. You're on core. And I was traveling to Sydney from the Central Coast every second day to get scans and like when I'm gonna get this surgery, it's just which is really hard for work as well.
SPEAKER_03:I was gonna say, how has this impacted your ability to live? Like it already impacted your schooling, but then like your social life, your career.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_03:That's the other side of that, like because this would just be dominating.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and it was, and I just moved home. I was trying to get a job, yeah. But also knowing that I'm gonna do egg freezing, how do I explain to a new boss? Oh, by the way, hire me. Hey, but I'm gonna have to leave work all the time because I'm I've got this stuff going on. Luckily, I have the best boss in the world, and she's female, and she gets it, yeah, and she was like, You just do whatever you need to do, we'll work around you. And I'm so forever grateful for that because it just made my experience, it was just one less thing I had to worry about. Yeah, it made my experience so like seamless with the work, like life balance. Um, but yeah, socially it's hard because it's like, oh, I can't commit to anything, I don't know when I'm gonna go into surgery. And it was around Easter, so like the day after my surgery, I went to my farm. Like it was just a bit crazy.
SPEAKER_09:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um, but I was really lucky, and so what happens is you go into surgery, you come out, and they put um like a tape on your wrists with how many eggs you got. So you wake up and that's the first thing you see. But that's not gosh, very full-on, but that's also not guaranteed what's gonna actually get frozen because they've got to look at the eggs, and the scientists have to decipher what's a good egg and a bad egg, and they have to discard of some. So then you get a phone call that afternoon to be like, okay, this is how many eggs you actually got. So I actually work hard with 18 on my list.
SPEAKER_08:Wow.
SPEAKER_00:And I'm getting emotionally picky about it. It's so weird to go back into it. But my mum and my nan were there, and they were just so excited, excited, and I was just like not ready yet to be excited. I was like, no, no, no, no, no. 18 is a really good number, but I'm not, we might not get that. They might test them and be like, you could have two. So I was very in denial of that, and I was like, I'm not ready to get excited about that yet. Like, please, can we not? And my mom and dad were like, oh shit, yeah, okay, like you're right, like we can't get excited yet. Um, so you don't have to stay in the hospital or anything. We drove home that day, got to bed, and as I'd like just hit the pillow, they called me and I was like, damn, answered the phone call, and it was the scientist, and he said, We've got 15 eggs. And I just I just burst into tears. I was just like, Holy fuck, I did that. Like it was just the most like that's making you're making me emotional. Oh, it was such a good feeling. Like, I just didn't expect that. And and it was just like mum and dad walked into the room and I just said, I got 15, and they they all just we all just cried in bed.
SPEAKER_02:It was it was so it was so weird. Dad was running around the house going, I've got 15 grand before.
SPEAKER_01:I'm a grandfather. It was such an odd shit. It was really emotional.
SPEAKER_00:And and I just like, yeah, it was so strange. And the actual doctor called me and was like, holy shit, like that is you've just beat your odds. Like, holy shit, how did you do that?
SPEAKER_06:You you beat your odds because you you did the work. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02:I actually left the economically.
SPEAKER_00:It is, it is such an emotional thing. It's beautiful. Um, and actually the tape on my car for a year. I because I pulled it off on the drive home and I put it on my car, and it stayed on my car for a year. And I just looked at it every day and I went, Fuck, I did that.
SPEAKER_06:That is so cool.
SPEAKER_00:Just it was really cool. And look, at the end of the day, like I'm I have to give it to my mum. She was just there throughout the whole thing. And I'm getting emotionally. Sometimes I'd like go to faint or go to vomit because all those hormones are so full on. And she would sit there and she'd turn on a random episode of Friends and just lay with me. And was just like I couldn't have done it without her. Like, she's just she'd be loving to hear this right now. She really got me through that. And and you know, I believe like having her there and and calming my body probably really helped with the situation, having that nurturing person there. Yeah. But um, yeah, that was a pretty cool experience. Just sit just hearing those numbers. I was just like, holy shit. And I instantly got up the shed away, and I ran up the back and I made a video. Mum's like, is that really what you're gonna do my day?
SPEAKER_01:TikTok on Instagram. And I'm like, 15, like sobbing on the internet for everyone.
SPEAKER_00:But I wanted to show that, like what that feels like. 15 is not a good number for a lot of people, but for me, it was just like, holy shit, I fucking did it.
SPEAKER_01:One ovary, let's go!
SPEAKER_03:It was crazy. What was the response from your video?
SPEAKER_00:I actually was not that I I shouldn't say I was surprised, but I got a lot of messages from people that I didn't expect to get messages from. People that I went to school with or that I knew of that messaged me and were like, Fuck man, like this is hectic. Like, I'm so proud of you. This is so interesting to watch. And then I got some mess, like my best mate was like, I'm so sorry, but I cannot watch this. Like, it's too much for my I can't see you like that. And that was her respecting her boundaries, but it was something that I was like, whoa, what? And she just could not see me in that vulnerable state, and and that was quite shocking. I was like, Yeah, oh my god, like what do you mean? Like, I'm doing this.
SPEAKER_06:It's positive, yeah.
SPEAKER_00:But but you know, I can understand now where she's coming from, and she's watched them back and been like, holy shit, bro, like I didn't even realize what's really raw. I think it was really raw and really confronting, and I think for my friends that was really hard. Yeah, um, very dearly. Yeah, and they don't want to see me going through that. And and she was in Brisbane at the time, she couldn't help. Like, at first, I I it put a bad taste in my mouth, but then like once we spoke about it more and unpacked it, I was like, Oh fuck, I actually respect that so much. Like, she just needed to protect herself because like her best friend was going through something that she couldn't help with, and she couldn't fully be there through, and now she's watched it and she's like, What the fuck? I'm just sobbing at your Instagram and your TikTok, like it's so heavy. Like, because it is heavy, it is really full-on, and it is really confronting for people to look at because then you know people start questioning themselves oh, am I in pain? Have I got these issues? Do I need to worry about this stuff? It opens a very full-on conversation. So, um, yeah, it it was different, the response that I thought, because I did get messages from people that I haven't talked to in 10 years, and I was like, the fuck, where have you come from? But like I'm hoping that you know someone's getting something out of it. That's all that I put it on there for. I was like, I don't want anyone one day to look it up on TikTok and be like, shit, I need that girl. I need that girl sitting on the floor, sobbing in the kitchen, and then the next day being like, everything's fine, I've got a matcha, life is good. Like, I need to see that variation of emotion. Literally. Because it was, it was an emotional roller coaster. And like, as I've said, with like even like figuring out about what I'm gonna do in the future and how's this gonna look for me, I still don't know what that's gonna be. Like, I don't know where I'm gonna be in the future of how that's gonna look when I try to have babies and things like that. So that's definitely still in the back of my mind, but at that time, when it's so in your focus, it's a lot to think about.
SPEAKER_09:Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_07:TikTok, and I think that you'll this will go beyond this time frame. I think it will continue to reach and and find people I know from myself personally. If I go on, if I'm going through something or want to know about something, I go to TikTok or to Instagram, and I'm like, I'm such a visual person. I'm like, I need to see or hear or feel like someone's going through what I'm going through. Like, even if you have a hard day or you're having relationship issues, it's like it's just nice to see someone and be like, oh, she just gets it. And yeah, I think that will go beyond. I think you've definitely in this moment reached people, but I think that will just continue to go beyond.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and I want to keep advocating for it as well. I want to keep advocating for women and and what women deserve to feel not gassed and understood, and I want to be that person for people, and I don't know what that looks like and how I'm gonna do that, but I've always had this like sense of like I'm happy to share my shit online. I don't care if that's gonna help someone else. Like, I'm happy to do it because like I have been that young, 16, 17, 18-year-old girl looking for someone, and I want to be that for someone else. I want to help someone in their living room, being like, shit, what the fuck am I doing? I'm in pain, this hurts, everything's so overwhelming. I've don't know what to do. Like, so I think, yeah, that's really important for me. Yeah, it's beautiful.
SPEAKER_07:So taking us to, I guess, today, um, you now have a lovely partner that you've met. Um, and what what's that been? You don't have to go in, you can go into as little as much detail as you want, but how has that been? Yeah, since post-surgery, meeting someone, and what what does that look like for you?
SPEAKER_00:Look, I've been thinking about it all day. And it's such a like I can't sit here and say I wasn't shitting myself. It's like such a hard conversation. Um and I don't I I asked him today, he's hung over his shit the whole thing, and I'm like, babe, what did you think? And he's like, What? Like, whoa, don't hit me with these hard questions yet. But I think it's really hard to explain what you're going through to a man because they don't understand the pain and things like that, and it sometimes it's easier to live through it than to just hear about it. So I think for him, he didn't realize the severity of it, and now he sees me waking up in the middle of the night in so much pain and sees my emotional fluctuation of life that now he's like, holy shit, like you go through a lot, and he's like panics when I'm in pain. He's like, What can I do for you? How can I help? And bless he bought me this machine that's like electrocurrents that like runs through your TENS machine. It's amazing, it's done so much for me, which is great. Um, but we're still definitely navigating that. Um, because yeah, I think it's something you actually have to live through to understand it. And um he is has been very supportive, but yeah, I think it's something that he needs to just like see day by day what's gonna happen, and and he'll figure it out from there and learn from there. And you know, when you're a blokey bloke, you don't get it. Like it's so new, and and if you've never had a sister like that's been in a position like that, or a mother or something like that, that you know what's going on, it's very hard to support. So I think it's just learning day by day, and he's doing the best he can, which is all that you can ask for. Oh, for sure.
SPEAKER_07:Even um what you said to me the other day when we had dinner that on a daily average you're paying what what number did you say out of ten? Like it's just it's like a four. Four every day. And I would tell us like what like that's just I remember that stuff with me. I was like, I didn't know that that's every I you know, I just thought maybe it was it goes in waves or it's like consistently like can go up or down, but on average, yeah, around that every day.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and that's the thing, like it's and that's why I want to talk about it so much and and talk about endo and polycystic and all these things is no one knows because no one has the conversation. Um, but for me, yeah, personally, I have pain every day, and then it's just like I get spikes of like worse pain.
SPEAKER_09:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um but like I can't walk around work and be like, oh my god, I'm in pain, no one talked to me. Like I have to you have to live through it, unfortunately. And I think like that is the hardest part of it, and it does like take a really big chunk of mental space for someone, and that's something I'm currently dealing with. Um which is a whole nother can of worms. I could talk about that for hours too. The fact that much time has to fall another one.
SPEAKER_07:We have to all get Ubers. Yeah. No, thank you. I like I can imagine, can appreciate and imagine that a lot of what we've spoken about tonight could be, it can be very difficult to speak about and very raw for you to revisit. Um I guess what I would be curious. What's next for Ellie? Are you wanting to continue to share? I like it's you know, it can be a very loose or open-ended question, but where do you see, is this something that you want to continue to speak about openly on on TikTok and and yeah?
SPEAKER_00:I look to be honest, I'm in a stage at the moment that I don't know what's next for me. I'm currently, as I said, still going to doctor's appointments and still dealing with a lot. Um, tomorrow I find out the results for this new scan that I had that will tell me if the endometriosis has worsened, if I need to have surgery, if I need like what kind of measures I need to take. Um I would like to keep advocating for women and for people with endometriosis for people that have are freezing their eggs because I do think it's so important. Uh, what that looks like, I'm not sure yet. And I think maybe the first step is doing a podcast, which is so exciting. Um, and I think that's a really important step to take to just open the conversation. Um, and I also just bring it in my life a lot. I'm open to talk to people about it. I was away this weekend, I'm like, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Talking to men who probably that is quite a confronting conversation to have. And I was saying to Monk Tay, like, oh, it's funny when I talk to certain men about it, I get a little bit embarrassed because I'm like, oh, they don't care, they're mainly men. But I do it anyway.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. I'm still a public service, baby.
SPEAKER_00:And then I stuck needles in myself and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I think I'm like, I'm just so like unapologetic about it. Although it embarrasses me a little bit to have those conversations with big men, I'm like, you know what? You're gonna go home and you're gonna think about that.
SPEAKER_06:Well, they need they could go through that with a future work. Exactly. You need to marry and daughter, it's it's it's just the reality of women nowadays.
SPEAKER_00:Like it's yeah, so I'm like, I don't know if maybe that's just the next step for me that I just continue talking about it throughout my life so openly, or if I start filming videos again, I think tomorrow will when I get some more answers that can change my thoughts. Like, if I do have to have surgery again, I probably will talk about it a little bit online again.
SPEAKER_05:Yeah.
SPEAKER_00:Um, because yeah, as I said, it is really important, and I think like even just the mental side of things, I'd really like to dive more into that because it does like take a massive toll on mental health, and that's something that at the moment I'm really struggling with, and dealing with that in a new relationship and and all these things, is it's really full on. So I'd like to like discuss that more. I have a question for you.
SPEAKER_03:How can people best support you? Because it's maybe something that not a lot of your friends or people in your life have the courage to ask. Like you said, a lot of people don't know what to say or how to broach these topics just because you are so beautifully open about what you're going through. Some people don't have the capacity to um respond. Uh so how can someone in your life support you in this?
SPEAKER_00:I think um I think every person's gonna be different because I think everyone has different love languages and things like that. For me personally, like my version of support is to not, and I think that probably a lot of people would think this is to not undermine the condition, to not be like, oh, it's just a period, babe, or or to your friend, oh I know you've it's just a period, I get painful periods too, things like that. I think understanding this is a real condition that people deal with and it's and it's painful and it's something a lot of people have to deal with on their own and still have to go about their lives every day. So I think just maybe doing the whole like check-ins every now and then, how are you feeling? How's your health? Because that's giving someone that space to be able to then go, oh, you care. Let me talk about it to you. Because I I feel personally that sometimes I don't want to burden my friends or family with my issues because I'm like, I get it. You hear about it all the time. I've got endo. Everyone knows I've got endo. But when someone actually checks in on you, you're like, oh shit, you do you do want to you do care, and you do know that although I've had this condition for a long time, like there's still things that pop up. Um, and then I think like maybe as probably for a partner is just yeah, understanding that like having that um understanding of every day is different, and every day is a it is a silent wall with your own body, which is really, really hard. And just trying to like be a little bit calm with that and understanding that just because I'm not vocalizing, I'm in pain, doesn't mean I'm not in pain. And I think that that stems with work and and friendships, and I could be sitting in a dinner in agony, but no, I would know, because I can, you know, I've got that personality that I can vibe off other people and be like, oh yeah, everything's good. So I think just like having that understanding that like, you know, there is deeper things in life that are going on with someone, and sometimes you need to just be aware of that. Maybe, oh shit, she's in a bad mood, maybe she's having a bad day, or things like that. I don't think. A bit of consideration. Yeah, a bit of consideration, yeah. I think like people are so quick to forget. They're like, oh, we've spoken about it once.
SPEAKER_05:Like, that's fine. You're so strong.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, and I think like, you know, having that consideration of, oh shit, when she says she's in pain, like she must be in pain.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, yeah, it gets or even if she doesn't say anything, it's you know, it's what like you said, what you don't say sometimes.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, exactly. And I think as I said, showing up for people is different within everyone. It is really like some people might just want to be left alone and and not spoken to, and that's how they ha handle their period or pain or endometriosis or whatever it is. For me, I'm like, please just give me a love.
SPEAKER_07:She said you're kids, aren't you?
SPEAKER_00:Gemini.
SPEAKER_07:That's right. Gemini. She's a Gemini.
SPEAKER_03:So we know you love matcha and we know you love your Tim's machine. What are some of the other things that help you with your pain management and just bring you joy in general that take your mind off of where you're going through?
SPEAKER_00:You know what? That's actually something that I've had to step into recently of figuring out what works for me. Because since my pain has come back in the last year quite bad, I've kind of lost of thought of like how does that how do I manage this to myself? And also how do I manage this in a new relationship with someone? I've never had to deal with that. Um, like tens machine, hands down, one of the best.
SPEAKER_06:I love a good tens machine. I did not know. Is that like a I've heard it in a lay bar lane? My lane bar, medication free. Like it got me to the end.
SPEAKER_00:Wow. News to me. Once again, advocate for yourself, ladies, because I had no idea this existed. No doctor had ever told me this existed. I'm pretty sure oh, girl at work told me, thank God for the Janaya. Shout out. Um shout out, Wikipedia, because she's the best thing ever. But um yeah, I didn't even know this was a thing. So advocating for yourself again is so important because you don't get a lot of information on doctors on how to manage these problems because I don't really want to manage them with super heavy drugs or anything like that. Um, so yeah, for me, um tense machines are great. Baths. Bards are my thing. I can't do heat when I'm in pain. It I get really sweaty, it's not that nice. So bards, like put me in a bath and leave me like fuck alone, please. I would look literally a glass of wine and a kindle and leave me alone for the next two hours.
SPEAKER_09:I love a bath.
SPEAKER_00:I love a bath. Like, I have especially now, my partner's got the best biggest bar bath. I'm like every chance, I'm like, babe, we're having a bath.
SPEAKER_02:We've had four this week. I'm like, your love language is bath. Seriously, anytime I'm unwell, anytime I'm not feeling good, if I'm having breakdowns, he's like so yeah, the baths are great.
SPEAKER_00:I think that's like a really good muscle relaxant for me.
SPEAKER_06:And the Epsom salts? That would be I haven't had Epsom salts in so long, but I need to bring that back. That will um so that will actually help with like if you have cramping, you can lose the money to do that.
SPEAKER_00:So that will be a game change review. I do need to do that. A good old glass of red. Let's go.
SPEAKER_08:Um why didn't I keep seductor away? Absolutely, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:And I find as well, like I really enjoy, which I haven't been doing a lot, but like my spiritual practices, my mindful practices, my Pilates, my yoga, my breath work, all those things really bring me back into my center. And I think kind of like release um tension that is probably like which I didn't again didn't know about, but apparently you can have tension that's built up in your body that isn't released because it's so used to having these um spasms and stuff that they now do physiotherapy for people with endometriosis to relieve um your pelvic pelvic muscles and things from creating spasms um because it's already it's it's used to this. So I need to look into that because I only got told that like two weeks ago. Interesting. But yeah, getting back into like my mindfulness of that would I think is something I really need to lean into at the moment, and I've been looking into doing some Pilates courses and stuff like that.
SPEAKER_06:So yeah, exciting. But yeah. Now, what would you tell 22-year-old Ellie today?
SPEAKER_00:That's a big question. I think I would tell 22-year-old Ellie that here I go again with the fucking tears.
SPEAKER_06:It's okay, babe.
SPEAKER_00:I think I would tell her that you're stronger than you think. Like, I think that I would tell her to love herself more and be prepared for what's gonna come because it's not fucking easy and it's not gonna be easy ever. But just be proud of how far you've come and still being a good person. I know that sounds like a really strange thing to say about yourself, but like I do believe, like corely, I am a good person, and and although I've got all this stuff around, I've still cut my armor for someone that I love. So I'm really proud of that. Um, and that everything's gonna be okay, and it's not gonna be fucking easy, but you're gonna do it. And also be nice to your mother.
SPEAKER_01:Amen. And I should still listen to that advice.
SPEAKER_08:We'll replay next week. Tennessee in the car, like, yeah. That's my girl, that's my girl. She's like, mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_07:She's like, I'm gonna remind you.
SPEAKER_01:But yeah, I think that's what I would say.
SPEAKER_00:I as I said, when I look back at those videos, I'm really proud of that person.
SPEAKER_09:Yeah, so yeah.
SPEAKER_07:That was beautiful. Good question as well.
SPEAKER_06:I don't think it's wine.
SPEAKER_03:I think it's just like adoration.
SPEAKER_06:Like I'm literally kisses, you made me cry.
SPEAKER_03:And I have to say, like you just saying, like still being a good person, that was something that really shined through as you were speaking, is that I could tell that you were just so appreciative and considerate of other people in your life, even though this was your journey and what you were going through, like you were still so mindful of like her circle. And so for that alone, I'd say, yeah, absolutely.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah, that is something I really like, I really tried to. Like, don't get me wrong, I'm sure there's fucking times that I was an absolute bitch to everyone because my hormones were raging and I was like, fuck you all. But the core of me did try my best to consider everyone around me. And as I said, like I didn't want to do it with my housemates in Queensland because I didn't want to put them through that, it's not their journey. And as I said, like I don't get the choice, but I want other people to have the choice of if they can surround their energy with that because not everyone can, and that's okay. So yeah, I think that's like something that I'm really proud of, like being able to hold that space.
SPEAKER_09:Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:Lovely. Yeah. So if people do want to find you on TikTok, um, where can they find we'll include it in the show notes, but it hasn't used in a while, but go back.
SPEAKER_00:Go back. Um, my name on TikTok is Ellie Nicole. Um, I think my bio says something like Single Girl Journey of Freezing Her Eggs, and I've got like a lot of videos. There's probably like 50 videos of me just crying on the floor in the kitchen. So enjoy that. Um hopefully that helps you a little bit. Or have a laugh at my expense, please. Like if that makes you feel good too. That's fine. I don't care.
SPEAKER_07:You've got some other like you've got some try-ons.
SPEAKER_08:I do. I do know that. TikTok's fun. So much fun.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah. And TikTok's just shit.
SPEAKER_08:It's just don't matter.
SPEAKER_00:But I just I could talk underwater. Like, put me on a camera.
SPEAKER_07:Yeah, you're really good at talking to the camera. Like you've always had that sort of charisma. Is that the word?
SPEAKER_01:You're a Gemini, you can just do that chameleon.
SPEAKER_06:I was chameleon into anything when I was. Gemini is just can be like like just take, take it, just roll with it. So yeah.
SPEAKER_07:So there's there's a lot, there's obviously all of the fertility stuff, but there is stuff of this as well. Um, but who knows?
SPEAKER_00:I might bring it back. We'll see. Yeah, who knows?
SPEAKER_07:Stay tuned, something in you.
SPEAKER_00:Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_07:But thank you for coming on and sharing your story with us and our listeners.
SPEAKER_01:Um as I said, like, thank you for holding that space.
SPEAKER_00:Like, I feel really privileged to be able to sit down and have a chat with three amazing women. Like, what more would you want? And feeling so comfortable to talk about everything. Because as I said, it is confronting, and and I'm like so grateful you guys are willing to hold that space. So thank you.
SPEAKER_06:Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03:We agree with you. Like, this is such an important message for women to be able to hear and conversations that need to be had, and it means a lot that you can use this platform to to share your story and help other people. And we're just so grateful. And that's the exact intention that we have for this podcast, as well. Is we want our listeners to get something out of it. And I've certainly learned a lot from you right here. So thanks.
SPEAKER_00:Thanks. Advocate for yourself, women. That's all I have to say. Yeah. Advocate for yourself. You know your body and you know what's best for your body. And that's been everything in life, right?
SPEAKER_06:Yeah. So true. Yeah. Thank you for coming on tonight. And yeah, for our listeners, if you're not inspired, I sure am. We are sure are. I'm like blown away. And yeah, I've just loved hanging out with you again. It's been too long. It has. Um, but yeah, as you said, Lauren, I'm I'm sure this is gonna reach some other beautiful women who need that hearing like if I was going through this and I heard this story, it would really comfort me.
SPEAKER_00:And I'd even probably reach out to you being like, oh please do text me, ask me anything, nothing's off limits. I don't know if you would have mono. Oh my god, I was listening to all your episodes this morning. Literally, it is. Nothing's off limits. I knew that, wasn't it? I knew that. Doug.
SPEAKER_02:I planned that, those in my notes.
SPEAKER_03:Thank you so much for listening to Loosely Speaking. This episode has officially brought season one to a close, and my gosh, what a season it has been. We are so grateful to everyone who tuned in, everyone who shared their stories and who engaged with us throughout these conversations. And just a huge thank you to all of our incredible contributors who were brave enough to do this first season with us and who just brought their wisdom, their honesty, and so much heart to this podcast. You made this first season everything that we hoped it would be. And a special thank you to our listeners, of course. Thank you so much for showing up and listening to us speak week after week, your thoughtful messages and just for being part of this community. Your engagement has meant the absolute world to us. A little update from me, Lauren. I'm going to be stepping back from co-hosting as I focus more energy onto my brand, Flow State Creative, and my branding clients. And this season of life has just taught me some really valuable lessons about capacity and designing a life that flows with my natural rhythm. So, of course, I'm really excited to keep cheering on the girls as listeners join them for what's next, and equally excited to dive deeper into the work that I absolutely love. So, here's to season one and to everything that's unfolding from here.
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